Have you ever loved someone Long Distance Relationship who was tens or hundreds of kilometers away from you? Being with yourself every day and functioning in a completely different space is something that is even difficult to compare. It is not true that a relationship in which we have the opportunity to spend time together does not require us to work and focus, but long-distance relationships are more difficult to maintain, require enormous amounts of vigilance, empathy, but are also possible.
For Most Couples Who are in a Long-Distance Relationship
YourChristianDate this state is due to necessity, some “lack”. It may be underage, which for teenagers in love is an obstacle to being together. The necessity to last a distance relationship may also result from the lack of sufficient funds for a dignified life in the case of marriages in which one person goes to work abroad. So age, money, the economic, housing, sometimes religious situation, and other times simply the lack of decision-making create situations in which partners learn how to overcome the longing and pain of separation.
In order to survive together, you have to take care of the relationship twice. Therefore, it is worth remembering about daily contact with yourself. Today, we have many tools to help nurture a relationship that is separated by kilometers. Mobile phone, Skype, Internet and available communicators, or even fast courier, which we can send almost express flowers or other gifts. Today, if we only want to remember and cherish our bond, nothing is an excuse. As Grzegorz Turniak rightly notices: “who wants to look for a way, and who does not want to look for a reason.”
A Lifesaver for The Relationship
It also happens that distance is a lifesaver for the relationship or the best possible way for a couple to survive together. Character differences, temperaments that clash too often with each other can somehow be muted by distance. It is not uncommon for a couple to declare a deep feeling, but either a difference of character or routine becomes the cause of more and more frequent quarrels and misunderstandings. Then you can think about looking at yourself and what is happening between us from a distance.
It’s nothing new to say that if someone doesn’t appreciate your presence, make them feel like it is without you… It may sound a little cruel, it may be considered playing with your partner, but sometimes it’s a very effective solution. Often, despite the momentary indignation of partners or one of them with the proposal of separation, improvement of the relationship, So a long distance relationship is sometimes a necessity and sometimes a choice. It carries both threats and opportunities. The common point is the willingness to be together.
“He should know that”, “We’ve been together for 8 years and he still doesn’t remember ?!”, “If I tell him what I want as a gift, I won’t have a surprise.” Such words are used as accusations against a partner who did not rise to the occasion, did not prove himself or did not meet the expectations YourChristianDate place in him. Does it excuse him not to know? Honestly? It makes absolutely no difference. It is important what a woman feels when this happens. I guess it’s not happiness. Where do such failed scenarios come from?
Since a woman expects proofs of love, she wants them to be spontaneous and not staged. Since she was not shown closeness in childhood, when she needed it and in as much as she needed it, she now cedes her unmet needs to her partner. When she was a child, she was so many times disregarded and her needs denied that she is now terribly afraid of disappointment. So he avoids asking prophylactically. Moreover, he does not dare to ask for the realization of his desires, because he does not know if they are rational. What if they aren’t? You know, she was fooling around! So it’s better not to ask and wait for what will happen. It can be different.
This Also has to be Dealt With.
Our requests will not always be appropriate to the situation. If I expect my partner to never talk to women because I feel rejected, then the truth is, my request is unrealistic. I also cannot expect that I will lock him at home like in a golden tower and from now on he will not meet friends, go to men’s parties, he will stop cultivating his previous interests.
It’s not about barter: you have to give something back to get me. Let him have both. We don’t have to endanger ourselves. However, if this is how I perceive his world, then either I have a constant fear that I am the less important one and that is why everything is a threat to me, or I really play second fiddle. But before assuming such a possibility, it is necessary to investigate what is inside me. Play an emotional doctor, rummage around in your software and see where this is coming from. From the truth about man, or from the myth of who I am, or rather who I am not.
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“If I’m not careful, I’ll be deceived, abandoned, hurt.” Control is born out of a lack of trust. To your partner and to the world. Control is the most vigorous syndrome of psychological bondage. It has many varieties and is extremely sneaky. He likes to look pretty. When everything is under control, we have the illusion that we are safe. Illusion.
Anka needs to know what her fiancé is doing with his friends. When he cannot control it, he creates numerous scenarios. Of course, each one is worse than the previous one.
Why? Because she was hurt more than once in her life. Now it is guided by the principle: “Trust and test”. So he checks. Mail, phone calls, text messages. Her two previous men left. They could not withstand the stress of constant surveillance. The third one, as he left, said that such a lack of trust is offensive to him, worse than the KGB. After a year, it turned out that he was actually cheating on Anka. This only confirmed her strategy. Anka just broke up with Marcin. She is alone again. But she already knows what mistake she made with him. And in her opinion, this is not an over-control at all.